Mondays are for cowardice
Monday, April 18th, 2022 09:30![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
and I'm going to write something here about that, but I'm afraid to think or write about what...
There's a sort of complicity. It makes me wish I had kept a journal during 2019. At this point in time, I like to think that going back and reading entries from then would be good or helpful in some way, but realistically, if I did have journal entries from that time, I'd either not remember them right now, or I would be terrified of revisiting them.
I'm writing this entry in between Dominion turns. I play Dominion online a lot and it's so enjoyable.
But I do keep shying away from thoughts that are not 'Dominion is nice' or 'things happened in 2019', so I think I'll need to leave it at that. Otherwise, the next thing would be 'what am I doing later' and so on.
(Still struggling with the compulsion to pull my hair out, still struggling with acknowledging that)
There's a sort of complicity. It makes me wish I had kept a journal during 2019. At this point in time, I like to think that going back and reading entries from then would be good or helpful in some way, but realistically, if I did have journal entries from that time, I'd either not remember them right now, or I would be terrified of revisiting them.
I'm writing this entry in between Dominion turns. I play Dominion online a lot and it's so enjoyable.
But I do keep shying away from thoughts that are not 'Dominion is nice' or 'things happened in 2019', so I think I'll need to leave it at that. Otherwise, the next thing would be 'what am I doing later' and so on.
(Still struggling with the compulsion to pull my hair out, still struggling with acknowledging that)